Thoughts about BGs (open thread)

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Melissa Posted: Wed, May 27 2015 9:14 PM

Hi everyone!

I know there has been some discussion about why we have both an Infertility BG and Supporting the Arts BG, should they be combined, etc.

I'd like to open this thread for you to share any thoughts you have about the Moderator supported BGs - too many, too few, how we can support you better, would you like the mod team to be more hands on (moving posts) or hands off, etc.

Feel free to post any feedback - we may not be able to incorporate all suggestions but would love feedback!

Flowers Melissa

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kersteve replied on Thu, May 28 2015 10:38 AM

Thanks for getting our feedback! I don't have super strong feelings, but I lean toward combining the two groups. While I get the benefit of having a group of people going through ART who all understand the details/treatments/meds/etc, I guess I value a more quick-moving group over that specialization. To me, having a reasonably busy group is what makes these buddy groups fun and helpful. I think having one bigger group vs. two smaller groups would help with that. Thanks!

DH (28) Heart Me (24) Married since 1/1/11. Currently NTNP while breastfeeding.

TTC from November 2012 - June 2015. After more than 2.5 years, numerous medicated cycles, and 4 IUIs...

Baby Girl Violet -- Born at home on 3/17/16

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. -Romans 12:12

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mbyounger replied on Thu, May 28 2015 10:52 PM

I so appreciate you guys reaching out to us get to our feedback. When DH & I were TTC#1 and needed the help of an RE I was so happy to be part of the Supporting the ART bg, which was very busy and had so many women going through similar circumstances when I first joined. When we realized we needed to go back to RE for ART when TTC#2, I was so looking forward to jumping back into the BG world. I found that the Supporting the ART BG was not busy at all, so I began to post in the Infertility BG because I just wanted a larger support system. I have ended up posting in both groups because I came back to ART once a few other women joined and that was ultimately where I needed to be since going through ART.

I get the reason for the two groups, but I also believe the value in the BG is having a big, vibrant community. If it is believed that combining would create that then I am very much on board.

In the end, we are all dealing with infertility whether going the ART route or not and even some of the women who aren't doing ART may jump into it in the future so will have an understanding of what is to come.

Regarding the moderator support, I think you guys do a great job. I think moving posts that need to be moved is fine too...especially if there are questions outside of the BG that could be moved to a BG to gain a new "member", ya know?

Alrighty, I'm done. :)

Me: 30 DH: 30-- Married 2010  Kiss

Unexplained Infertility. Slightly High FSH 11.2 

26 Cycles TTC #1: 3 Cycles Clomid + TIC, 3 Cycles Clomid + Bravelle+IUI. BFP Aug 2012

Baby Boy E born May 4, 2013

16 Cycles TTC #2: 5 Cycles Clomid + Bravelle + IUI. BFP September 2015

 Baby Boy T born June 13, 2016


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dj rayne replied on Fri, May 29 2015 9:23 AM

This is just what I have noticed and not specifically directed at any group but I notice questions being asked in the BGs where answers may be limited as not everyone with experience (whether it is pre O, post O, TTC, TTA, Charting, IF, ARTs, specific conditions such as PCOS, Thyroid, Endo. etc.) chooses to participate for their own reasons. That is a concern as there are those that get offended if the mods or those that have more experience participate and have observations or suggestions that may be different than the group. It suggests that there are those that would rather hold onto false hope or that the rules don't apply than be open to suggestions that could open up reasonable discussion and lead to solutions not just for themselves but potentially others with similar issues. It limits the audience as well. Just to clarify - we do not move posts into or out of threads. We do move threads that are misplaced in an effort to make sure the thread receives attention from those most likely to have answers. Examples would be a thread concerning IF issues placed in TTC or Pregnancy in Cycle and Charting or TTC. When I first came here this was a very vibrant community of women that were all over the boards, every forum was fast paced and this was not just a board focused on TTC or TTA but about total life experience. Questions were asked in the forums opening discussion, support and sharing of a more personal nature given in the BGs. It was more well rounded as women opened up their lives by participating in general chatter, health and fitness, entertainment, debates. When friendships developed and sharing deepened to a level that the women preferred more privacy, the private groups offered a place for them to move to but they still participated in the forums. This is still a place were vibrant women with differing backgrounds and life experience come but by limiting ourselves to BG only participation we miss out on so much. I realize our numbers aren't what they used to be and we all have constraints on our time but I'd love to see more or broader participation. I'd also like to hear ideas on creating opportunities for this. By streamlining the site and combining some topics we had hoped to encourage more participation.

David Jude

Click HERE for useful tips and information about this site including linking your chart and directions to allow others to view it Flowers  and HERE for Shrug abbreviations.

To every thing there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven.  Eccl 3:1

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srw105 replied on Sun, May 31 2015 5:32 PM


I prefer the IF and Supporting the ARTs groups separate.  Not everyone dealing with IF is doing ART. I like that the women I ask for advice from and offer support to are specifically going through the same thing (ART).  Yes, the groups are smaller, but that helps with keeping a proper track on what  everyone is doing and when so you can respond with proper personals rather than glazing over a few because you can't remember what they are doing or their specific issue.

Thank you for asking for feedback.

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hali replied on Tue, Jun 2 2015 6:32 AM

When the moderator posted the definitions for the infertility and arts BGs it made sense for having the 2 separate groups. But when all the infertility buddy groups were placed under one tab the confusion began. I think the "infertility place to vent" has kind of become a infertility bg.  I understand the reason for having 2 groups I just think it was better when the infertility bg was under infertility and arts bg was under arts.  

Thank you.

  • Me: 35 DH: 37
  • Unexplained infertility (slight PCOS)
  • 2 years TTC #1: 5 cycles on clomid, 3 cycles puregon/IUI, BFP after miscarriage- DS 08/12
  • TTC #2 Jan 2014: Feb-June 2015, 4 cycles puregon/IUI, IVF (2 day 3 embryos, grade 4)...BFP (boy-girl twins!)
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spuli replied on Thu, Jun 4 2015 8:10 PM

I personally like the Arts and Infertility group to be separate. I just feel it is a better support system when everyone going through an ART cycle are on one group. The answers, questions and support system is on a more common idea, and similar feelings. I love the intimate small support group. 

Me 32 DH 39

TTC Since Dec 2012
Multiple Cysts, Endometriosis and Blocked Tubes June 2014
IVF#1 Oct 2014: 32 Eggs, 8 Frozen, Cancelled Fresh Cycle Transfer due to OHSS
FET#1,2,3,4 Dec 2014 - April 2015 BFN
Changed RE's 
IVF #2 Nov 2015: 22 Eggs, 4 Frozen, 2-5DT Blastocysts BFN
Dec 2015: Balanced Translocation per RE additional genetic testing for DH & I.
IVF#3 Feb 2016: 38 Eggs, 4 Frozen PGS/PGD

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laluna replied on Thu, Jun 4 2015 8:35 PM

I have to admit when I wandered into the Infertility BGs section I wasn't sure which group to post in. Since I was starting fertility treatment and had questions about clomid and possibly thyroid and other related things, I wasn't sure if it was part of the definition of ART and I saw people posting in the infertility BG that were doing medicated cycles, so I started there. But then I read a post that seemed like I was one of the ones who was using that BG wrong, so I switched to the ARTs forum. I'm still not sure if I'm in the right place! So maybe there's a way to clear up the purpose of each BG? 

Me - 34, DH - 41

TTC #1 since May 2014

3 Clomid cycles - BFNs

Unexplained infertility

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Lattegirl84 replied on Sat, Jun 20 2015 1:29 PM

I would second Laluna's question. I'm taking Femara this cycle and was wondering if it's considered ART- or is ART only IUI/IVF? I'd love to have a place to chat with others but didn't want to post in the ART group if it wasn't the right place for me. Some clarity on this would be great! 

Me- (32) DH (31) married 2012

me-PCOS (thin). Homozygous MTHFR C677t.   DH- low sperm count, taking Clomid to correct.

Baby Boy September 2014  via c section 

Baby Girl April 2016 successful VBAC! 


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dj rayne replied on Sat, Jun 20 2015 4:14 PM

The IF covers the entire spectrum from pre diagnosis testing to conception using ARTS. It was mainly intended as an emotional support system that also carried you through your cycle like the WTO and TWW but where you could feel comfortable knowing the women you were with were going through the same or similar and needing help didn't mean you were the odd women out. The ARTs group was to discuss protocols and meds for any of the assisted reproduction techniques. These are women that are using meds w/o IUI or IVF and women using IUI or even IVF without meds and anything in between. They may be at this point for female issues, male issues or a combination. Some are women that because of their relationship status choose to use ARTs to achieve their dream of parenthood. Join the group you are most comfortable with.

David Jude

Click HERE for useful tips and information about this site including linking your chart and directions to allow others to view it Flowers  and HERE for Shrug abbreviations.

To every thing there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven.  Eccl 3:1

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sumitasharma replied on Tue, Jul 14 2015 5:08 AM

What is BGs?

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mynewredshoes replied on Fri, Jul 8 2016 3:45 PM

Buddy Groups Smile

Kiss On the marriage roller coaster since 1993 -- what a ride!

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