I thought this would be a timely post given it's Valentine's day, haha.
I'm almost exclusively BF (typically 1 bottle in the evening, if at all). Getting pretty good sleep. Just not in the mood, ever. I feel really bad for DH. We would be 100% ok with another pregnancy given our previous issues, so it's not anything to do with that. Hoping it's hormonal and will pass, like so many PP issues.
Anyone else have this problem? Did your libido eventually get back to normal?
Me - 34, DH - 33, TTC #1 since May 2012. MMC at 6.5 weeks Nov 2014
Countless medicated/unmedicated cycles... See bio for details.
Sept/Oct 2015 - IVF Egg retrieval only - Seven day 5 frosties, PGS on all seven - all normal!
December 2015 - FET #1 - transferred One 5AA hatching blast - BFP Dec 7th! Beta #1, 9dp5dt - 186. Beta #2, 12dp5dt - 612. Ultrasound showed a little heart beating at 117bpm @ 6w4d! DS born Aug 9/16 at 38w4d.
Currently NTNP while BF.
Oh yes, this is 100 percent normal. Between the hormone fluctuations, the constant touching from a baby (or babies), and the exhaustion, this was 100 percent true for me. My body was not my own and it certainly wasn't available to my husband on any schedule he would have liked.
It's hard to say when it improved... maybe closer to a year? But I'm sure that's different person to person, and depending on other stressors in your life. My three were all so close in age that nobody was sleeping any real stretch until about two years after the birth of my youngest. In my experience, sleep is 85% of any picture.
Hang in there.
Me: 43 | Husband: 42
Proud parents to boy/girl twins born 5.28.11 and boy born 4.19.13.
Chemical pregnancy 7.13.16
Positive pregnancy test 1.11.17
12-week ultrasound -- everything looks good. Very wiggly baby!
See my profile for test results, etc.
Completely normal! I was so freaked after having our twins because I had never not felt like having sex like AT ALL. It felt weird for a while (internal pulling feeling) and I just didn't enjoy it at all until around 9/10 months when I weened my twins from breastfeeding. My doctor assured me it was all normal and would return but I was so freaked! Then one day my DH and I were doing the deed and it was enjoyable and felt like before babies!!!
Me (31) DH (34) ~ Married August 2008 + 3 fur babies
+ ID Twin DSs ~ December 23, 2015 (BFP May 2015 after 14 cycles TTC)
(TTC #3 - February 2017)
**See my bio for more information**
Yes, very normal I think. I don't remember how long it took, but I feel like around a year? I think when baby is nursing a lot and you are holding them half the day, it is enough sensory input that I don't want more, even if it is different.
7 weeks September 2016
BFP 10/6/16! Praying for a rainbow baby!
It's pretty typical, at least from my experience. Give it more time and try to accept it as a natural, temporary stage. As the baby gets closer to a year old and relies less on your breast milk, you will see an improvement. And until then, sometimes try to just go with it. You may find that you can get in the mood with the right setting ;)
Him 32 and me 32 2007 2008 2009 2011 2012 2013 2016currently nursing my baby boy and delving back in FAM for TTAthe light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it
Yah, I'd echo what everyone is saying. It's just a bunch of factors that will lower the sex drive: your body isn't totally your own, there's fatigue, hormones, etc. I also would underscore what scarlet_willow said; I probably would have not had sex for months but gave it a try and the first time pp was weird, then the second time was fine, then the third time I remembered why I liked it! I do think that the good sex endorphins can actually help with other pp hormones stuff too - probably this is not backed up by science, just my anecdotal evidence ;)
Remember to be patient with yourself and that unfamiliar pp body!
Me (39) DH (41) =
#1 - January 2009
#2 - May 2102
December 26, 2010 @ 7 weeks
Thank you all for the reassurance. I have gone with the flow a few times and it has been pretty good (although nothing like pre-baby). It's just tough getting over the mental hurdles and letting go (not to mention DS has an uncanny ability to detect any type of activity and cue crying, lol). Hopefully once DS weans it will get better. In the meantime it is nice to know it is normal and not something wrong with me.
Yup, exact same situation here! I'm 9 months postpartum and just a tiny bit interested again, which is new in the past couple of weeks.
Off HBC 1/2014
TTA while exclusively breastfeeding
My charts (sorry - I chart on paper, mainly, so these charts are hardly ever up to date)
I haven't read the other comments yet but I want to say it is 100% normal and something that I wish they would tell you about more. "They" need to assure you it's normal but they also need to assure you that you WILL go back to "normal". After I had #1 I was so revolted by the idea of sex for months and months. I think at 7ish months I finally started to get back to normal but probably 8-9 months officially. After my 2nd, it was much faster! I think a big part of it apart from the hormones is just your brain and emotions - it's so hard adjusting to having this new life to care for and keep alive, and that's where all your emotions and brain power are going, you have nothing left for sex. It'll pass!
Me: 30 - DH: 30 Married 2008
Began Charting September 2012.
A.B. born naturally July 29th, 2013
O.C. born naturally September 1st, 2015
due September 11th, 2017!
Praise God from Whom all Blessings Flow.
I've never really had zero libido, but I did feel like something was wrong with me from about 6m pp to a year because I just wasn't enjoying it as much. Even that got better and I think it was mostly due to exhaustion from a baby who didn't sleep, etc. I agree with the others who said to keep trying. I tell DH that I'm always tired, but I'm usually willing to be convinced :-)
Me: 26 DH:35 Married 7/7/2012
Baby Finn 8/2016
Nursing kills my libido also. I nursed my kids for a longgggggggg time.
The less mine nursed as they got older the more my libido returned. I had to remind my husband that I really loved him and hormones have a strong effect on those things. :) We've made it through seven years of nursing. I hope it improves quickly for you.
DD12 DD7 DS3 TTC since June 2015
Feb. 28, 2004 Nov. 5, 2006 Dec. 14, 2016
7w Early Miscarriage 14w Subchorrionic 10.5w Blighted Ovum
Jan. '17 Dx. Hetero MTHFR A1298C & Hysteroscopy
Feb. 18, 2017 Chemical Pregnancy